(Note: I was not financially compensated for this post. I received the book from Hay House for review purposes. The opinions are completely my own based on my experience. I am an affiliate of Hay House Publishing and Amazon.)
The American Idol show allows wannabes a chance to become a star by singing popular songs created by other famous artists.
If Idol contestants imitate the artist style well enough, they win a recording contract and stardom is sure to follow. As Holden reminded me throughout the book, without self-love, it could be the reason for their undoing as well.
Another comparison to American Idol in Loveability is how the contestants try to mirror others. Holden says this mirroring is a part many of us play that make us seem like we really love ourselves.
Much like these copy cats, Holden says that if we don’t learn to love ourselves first, our life is sure to spiral out of control until we change the way we look at everyone through, and with, love – only love!
I’m sure you’ve heard of the other theory behind the mirror principle. It goes like this,
“When we meet others, we meet ourselves.”
A piece of our shadow self that we (knowingly or unknowingly) see in the people we don’t like, exists in us. We just don’t want to admit that there’s a piece of us that believes, “we’re just like them – un-loveable.”
I had this inspirational, Aha moment, while reading this book when I thought to myself, “On the surface it seems like we are all walking around with the words ‘I’m un-loveable’ printed in invisible ink on our foreheads.”
We glam all up in ego, attitudes, make-up, clothes and great cover-up conversations, all the while shaking in our shoes because what we really feel is that we don’t deserve to be loved. Whoa, this was a doozy of a moment for me!
Let me offer you another Aha moment that stood out for me in Loveability and you can tell me if you too are stricken with the un-loveable disease. The list starts with “You …” :
- … are more critical of yourself than others are.
- … accuse others of not loving you enough.
- … try to control relationships.
- … are always testing others love for you.
- … have lots of complaints about other people.
- … try to change others.
- … try to prove how wrong others are.
This is just a tenee tiny list of stuff I discovered in the book that I recognize that I do.
If you said “yes” to any of items on this shortlist, you need this book to work through the practical exercises it provides.
This isn’t all Holden shares to cure yourself of un-loveability. His mirror principle tag line alone is eye-opening. He says, “If you spot it, you got it!”
Now, every time I run into anyone, I look for the “if you spot it, you got it!” If you’re human, like me, you won’t believe how many times you have to say this to yourself in a day. The number is in the hundreds!
Holden’s book, Loveability, doesn’t have a problem with us trying to be an American Idol. He likens this book to a practice of meditating on love instead of looking for love in all the wrong places.
Until later, I send you love (lots of love), blessings and wishes for a prosperous and abundant life!